


Misuse Of Workplace Space

by Fox_Salz



Series: Jane and Nepeta Detective Agency AU [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Biting, Bulges and Nooks, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dom/sub Undertones, Grubscars, Hacking, M/M, Nook Eating, Psionic Bondage, Sex, Sollux Captor Has Dual Bulges, as in some sweet attention paid to them, background equius/karkat, between Karkat and Equius, mentions of lingerie, mentions of porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz
Summary: Bored, Sollux fucks with Equius.





	Misuse Of Workplace Space

**Author's Note:**

> My first published hs smut without an Ampora, amazing. 
> 
> It's not necessary to have read anything else in this series, it's just pure sex.

“Captor, you will release me at once.”

 

Sollux cackled in a way that would make Terezi proud.

 

“We are at _work_. This is most lewd and scandalous.”

 

“Yeah, it’s pretty unprofessional of you.”

 

Equius sputtered; Sollux smirked down at the open husktop.

 

Sollux had intruded on Equius’ private workspace because he had been bored. Equius hadn’t been working on anything interesting so of fucking course it was up to Sollux to make his own fun. Which he did, taking Equius by surprise with his psionics and holding his arms firmly behind his back with feet planted to the floor. Honestly the guy was putting more effort into glaring at him from behind those cracked shades than actually trying to break his psionics. So Sollux had decided to see how far he could push. Which led to him breaking into Equius’ work computer and rifling through his shit.

 

“You will not alter or delete my work, Captor.” There was a growl behind his words that did things to Sollux’s bulges.

 

“Relax,” Sollux returned, sending a small shock to his neck. “I’m not gonna mess with your stupid projects. I’m gonna mess with the rest of your shit, though. Let’s see what extracurricular things you’re using this baby for.”

 

Equius tensed and Sollux didn’t miss the new sheen of sweat dripping down his face. Fuck yeah, he was about to find something _good_.

 

“Ehehehehe, yes, you have a hidden—poorly, mind you—porn folder. On your work husktop, Zahhak? Really? For fucking shame.” Sollux had plenty of porn on his work setup, he had no shame. Shame was for wigglers and uptight assholes. “I hope this isn’t just musclebeast shit. If it is I’m deleting it and giving your husktop a virus.”

 

“Do not open those files.”

 

“Too late.”

 

Equius had them all labeled with esoteric nonsense so Sollux couldn’t even guess what they were until he clicked them. He opened one at random.

 

“Oh shit, I know this one. A psionic absolutely wrecks this archeradicator. Not bad, Zahhak.”

 

Equius made a choked sound.

 

Sollux checked out a few more videos. He sure did have an unsurprising amount of indigos being dominated. Also a lot of petplay stuff that he made a note to tease Karkat about later. All of it was red or pitch stuff, no salacious pale porn at all.

 

“Guess AC keeps you pretty satisfied in that quadrant, huh?”

 

“You will keep my meowrail out of this. Moirail.”

 

“Whatever. I’m bored again.”

 

Sollux chose a few videos that weren’t particularly good and deleted them before clicking out of the folder. Then he leaned back and swiveled the chair to face Equius. Dumbass was sweating through his uniform.

 

“Why the fuck do you bother wearing all of that? I mean, besides your obvious uniform kink?”

 

Equius bristled. “I am a loyal member of Her Merciful Radiance’s close court, meaning when I am at work I am in full—“

 

Sollux pressed his palm against his mouth and made a fart sound, cutting Equius off. He looked insulted, scandalized, and exasperated all at once. Impressive, and super satisfying.

 

Less satisfying was how clothed he was. Sollux decided to rectify that.

 

There were so many goddamn buckles and snaps on this thing. Fully Equius’, fault, too; Feferi had given him full reign in its design. Kanaya had given input, too, as she made it. As a result it was a complicated mess that accentuated his stupid sexy muscles. Like a present with an intricate bow on top.

 

At least all those buckles and snaps made pleasing sounds when his psionics undid them. Sollux tossed the top aside, making sure it was as messy as possible just to piss the guy off more.

 

Of course the bastard had an undershirt on, too. Sure, he could have taken it off easily but it was more fun to shred it.

 

“My shirt!”

 

Sollux shrugged and told him, “Eh, you have others.”

 

“That fact does not erase your actions, Captor.”

 

“Ehehehe, true.”

 

Sollux raked his eyes over the expanse of Equius’ muscles. Fuck him for being so handsome. It was goddamn infuriating. Spitefully Sollux zapped his grubscars, making Equius jolt and his breath hitch.

 

He could feel Equius’ glare but couldn’t see it. Time to fix that, too. He at least showed some common decency by moving Equius’ shades to the desk and setting them down gently. He showed less decency by ripping his boots off and tossing them across the room. They hit the wall with a thud.

 

“You are an exceptionally rude and lascivious troll, Captor.”

 

With a wide grin Sollux replied, “I know, but appreciate that.”

 

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

 

Sollux just shrugged, crossing the space between them. He took great satisfaction in how Equius automatically straightened, a bead of sweat running down his temple and framing his jaw. He leaned down and pressed their lips together hard, letting his teeth snag Equius’ skin. Sollux grabbed the back of his neck and dug his claws in. Equius moaned.

 

With his free hand he reached between them to unzip Equius’ pants. He shoved his hand in at the same moment he pushed his tongue into Equius’ mouth. One palmed the squirming mass in his underwear while the other explored Equius’ pliant mouth. Sollux didn’t pull back until Equius let out a desperate keen.

 

“Really, dude? Popping a wiggly already? Doesn’t Karkat pail you enough?”

 

“You will stop bringing up my other quadrants this instant,” Equius demanded with a scowl. Sollux just snickered and flicked his nose.

 

He went back over to the desk, plopping down on the chair like he didn’t have a care in the world. Or like he didn’t have a horny, sweaty blueblood in the corner to play with. In a minute, though. Let the asshole stew.

 

Actually wait, no. Sollux got those pants and underwear off. Better to make him wait while naked. Sollux could always use some eye candy when hacking.

 

Also, red underwear. Fuck, he had so much to tease Karkat about later.

 

It was pathetically easy to hack into Equius’ credits. You’d think the guy would eventually learn to up his security after the first time Sollux did this, let alone the, like, fifth or so time. Fucking amateur.

 

Oh, well. Time to spend Equius’ money.

 

“What are you doing, Captor?”

 

“Hush, I’m concentrating,” Sollux replied, zapping his ass. Then, spurred on by Equius’ deliciously undignified yelp, shocked his grubscars again. Equius bored a hole in Sollux’s head.

 

Actually he wasn’t concentrating at all, he was mindlessly browsing sex shops in an endless clicking spiral, occasionally shocking Equius to keep him on his toes. Nook worms led to riding crops led to collars led to more and more. Eventually Sollux ended up in the lingerie section.

 

“Hey, Zahhak, wouldn’t KK look hot in this?” Sollux asked, turning the screen around for him to see. Equius just scowled.

 

“I command you to stop bringing up Karkat.”

 

“What’s that? Give KK a call? If you insist, you depraved exhibitionist.”

 

The look of growing horror as Sollux took out his palmhusk was fucking hilarious. He dialed Karkat’s number and put him on speaker.

 

“Hey, KK, you still the same size in lingerie?”

 

“I know you’re fucking allergic to manners, but this is a whole new level, Sollux. You’re supposed to say hello before jumping into lingerie questions.”

 

“ _Hello_ , KK. I’m going to assume your fine ass hasn’t changed sizes.”

 

“No it hasn’t. And I’m going to assume you’re fucking with my matesprit.”

 

“Ehehehehe, yeah. Equius, say hello before KK gets pissed at your lack of manners.”

 

“Hello, Karkat,” Equius greeted obediently through gritted teeth. If he wasn’t careful he was gonna break then.

 

“Is this what you two do all day? Extravagant pitch one-upping? Are you pailing in Equius’ lab right now? Where anyone could easily walk in. Both of you are absolute fucking perverts.”

 

“I assure you none of this was my doing,” Equius protested. Sollux shocked the back of his neck. His bulge jumped eagerly.

 

“Anyway, KK, I found the perfect set. Your rumpleshperes will look amazing. It’s got garter belts, even.”

 

“Let me guess, yellow?”

 

“Ehehehe, yeah. Black, too.”

 

“Great, lowkey bee themed. It better be lacy.”

 

“What do you take me for? I am a connoisseur of lingerie.”

 

“You’re a goddamn filthy minded pervert. But you do know what looks good on me.”

 

Equius was drowning in his own sweat. Sollux snapped a picture and sent it to Karkat.

 

“By the way, KK, did you pick out the red underwear for him?”

 

“Obviously. Why wouldn’t I put my mark on my property so assholes like you don’t forget who Equius belongs to?”

 

Fuck, why was that so hot?

 

Judging by the way his bulge was writhing Equius felt the same.

 

“I may be a pervert, but you’ve got serious control issues.”

 

Sollux went over to Equius, hand hovering over his bulge. It made to wrap around his wrist but Sollux sent out a little shockwave that made it jitter about and Equius moan.

 

He moved his hand up to Equius’ grunscars, psionics lightly stinging.

 

“Anyway I ordered the lingerie. Express shipping, of fucking course. I expect pictures.”

 

“Suck my bulge.”

 

“Aww come on, I have to earn them?”

 

“Yes, _Sollux_ , you have to earn it. I refuse to reward your hedonistic desires without making you work for it.”

 

Psionics dancing across the expanse of Equius’ bare, taut skin, Sollux assured, “Challenge fucking accepted, KK.”

 

Karkat gave an over exasperated sigh that Sollux knew was more fond than anything. He grinned at Equius, psionic charged fingers curling around the back of his neck.

 

“How’s that image sound, Eq? My mouth around your matesprit’s bulge. We’ll take pictures for you.”

 

“Absolutely the fuck not we won’t,” Karkat interjected. The corner of Equius’ lip twitched upwards; Sollux greatly enjoyed seeing it turn into a frown as Karkat added, “It’s just fucking easier to take a video instead.”

 

“I don’t understand how I’ve found myself quadranted with two of the lewdest, most obscene trolls I have ever encountered,” Equius groused as his bulge wiggled desperately.

 

“You’re just lucky, I guess,” Sollux replied before shoving their mouths together.

 

He bit Equius’ bottom lip, startling his mouth open, and shoved his tongue in quick. The hand with the phone reached behind Equius and grabbed his ponytail while the other let out a steady stream of psionics. He pulled hard and dug fronds into Equius’ neck. Sollux didn’t let up until Equius was a keening, panting mess in his hands, bulge weeping and literally trying to get into Sollux’s pants.

 

And he only did pull back because Karkat was admonishing them.

 

“Really you two? Did you forget I was on the phone?”

 

“Heh, whoops.” Sollux stepped away from Equius, winking before he turned and headed back for the desk. “What were we talking about? Oh right, lingerie. Anything else you want me to get you?”

 

“Does it count for you getting it if you’re using Equius’ money?”

 

“I’m technically doing the buying, so yes.”

 

As they were arguing semantics, Sollux felt a sudden _snap_ that reverberated through his skull. Equius had broken out of his psionics. Welp.

 

“Gotta go, KK,” Sollux said before the phone was taken out of his hand and placed on the desk.

 

“Captor.”

 

“Yo. For the record,” hands were pushing up his shirt, “you only escaped because I was distracted.”

 

Equius _hm_ ed in a way that meant _bullshit_. Or more accurately for this dumbass _abso100tely_ _incorrec_ /.

 

Equius pulled his shirt off and Sollux ordered, “Don’t fucking fold that.”

 

Sollux could feel his eye roll, but Equius did simply drop it on the floor.

 

Sollux opened his mouth for a condescending remark but what came out instead was a gasp as Equius gripped his hips and bit down on his shoulder. He pulled Sollux’s ass flush with his bulge, letting up with his fangs only to move over half an inch and bite down again.

 

“Fuck!” Sollux exclaimed, reaching back and tangling his fingers in Equius’ hair.

 

“Is that a command?” Equius wondered in between licking the bite marks. Sollux shivered.

 

“Put your fucking bulge in me.”

 

In response Equius bent him over the desk. Instead of pulling Sollux’s pants down and pailing him silly, Equius slowly ran his tongue over one of his grubscars. Sollux’s toes curled.

 

“I didn’t order you to keep up the foreplay, asshole.”

 

“You need to learn patience, Captor.” Equius squeezed his thigh. His still unfortunately clothed thigh. “I refuse to rush a task unnecessarily.”

 

Sollux let out a string of curses as Equius mouthed his other grubscar, tilting his head forward and pressing his forehead against the desk. Fuck him for being handsome _and_ having a talented mouth. What a prick.

 

Equius reached between Sollux’s legs and cupped his bulge. He just kept it there, the bastard, not moving or applying any real pressure. Frustrated, Sollux thrust against it pointedly. All Equius did was press his pelvis against Sollux’s ass again, still biting up his sides, and Sollux realized his game.

 

Fuck it, pleasure before pride. That was the Captor motto.

 

Sollux rolled his hips, breath hitching. His twin bulges writhed at the friction and desperately Sollux kept it up. As Equius decorated his skin he rutted against his palm. If Sollux had dignity he’d feel like a goddamn fool; luckily all he felt was rising arousal. It wasn’t enough, though, and Sollux craved a bulge inside of him. His own were begging to be freed.

 

“Fucking get these pants down already you sweaty piece of shit.”

 

Because it was a direct order, or maybe Equius was just as worked up and eager as him, he finally started fumbling with Sollux’s zipper. Sollux let out a litany of _yes yes yes_ until there was a little metal snap. He glanced back to see Equius holding up his broken off zipper.

 

“Really?”

 

“Fiddlesticks.”

 

“Hey, watch the goddamn language. You kiss KK with that mouth?”

 

“Oh, hush.”

 

“Don’t give me orders, you broke my pants, dude.”

 

“You have others.”

 

Before Sollux could retort Equius tossed the metal behind him and just ripped his pants open and shoved them down. Stupid strong sexy bastard.

 

Sollux’s bulges had been twisting around each other but now that they had room they separated and searched around for more of that sweet friction. He reached down and let them wrap around his hand, fingers rubbing one of the tips. A moan escaped him.

 

Equius kneeled behind him, pushing his pants to his ankles and lifting one of Sollux’s feet out of it. Then he moved Sollux’s legs further apart and suddenly there was a tongue lapping at his nook.

 

“Shit, fuck, _yes_.”

 

Sollux pushed back against his face. He prides himself on his nook eating skills, but if there was one person that could almost rival him it was Equius. The guy gave it his all, letting Sollux rut against his mouth while he pushed his tongue in. It curled around and his bulges jumped excitedly.

 

Then a beefy finger wiggled its way in beside his tongue and Sollux’s stomach flipped. With slow, deliberate movement, he thrust it into his nook. Nonsensical encouragements fell from Sollux’s mouth. They earned him a second finger pushing deep inside of him. Equius didn’t let up, pleasure building and building and Sollux knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

 

“Come on already, Equius, I’m so close. Put your goddamn bulge in me.”

 

When Equius pulled back tongue and fingers all in one fell swoop Sollux actually fucking _whined_. He glanced over his shoulder as Equius stood up, and the bastard was smirking. He didn’t have time to be mad, though, as his bulge ran across the lips of Sollux’s nook.

 

His eyes squeezed closed as Equius eased into him. He went so slow, touch light like he was afraid of losing control of his strength and hurting Sollux. Just that little reminder of how easy it would be for Equius to snap him in half sent a shiver through him and straight to his nook.

 

Finally Equius was flush against him, bulge thrashing inside of his nook. He squeezed one of his bulges and started pumping, reaching down with his other hand for the other bulge, not wanting to leave it out.

 

Equius brushed against his seedflap and Sollux groaned. A chitter started up in the back of his throat and he pumped furiously.

 

Equius was panting, bulge thrashing erratically as he got closer to the edge. He bent over Sollux, biting down his shoulder again and Sollux came with a cry. Equius followed quickly after, filling him up with genetic material that dribbled out around Equius’ retreating bulge and down his thighs.

 

They laid there for a minute, Sollux’s cheek pressed against the wood and Equius’ forehead pressed against his back. He thought about finding whatever they could and tossing a quick pile together for a nap. Not like Equius was going to get any more work done at this point.

 

Both of them gave a jolt as Karkat’s voice rung out.

 

“Fuck, you two didn’t even use a bucket did you? Like goddamn animals.”

 

“Holy shit, KK!”

 

“I thought you had hung up?”

 

“Well fuck me for being distracted by the asshole taking the phone out of my hand,” Sollux snapped back.

 

“I will not be held accountable when you’re the one who started all this to begin with.”

 

“Yeah, you’re _welcome_.”

 

Karkat cut through their bickering as he ordered, “Shut up, both of you.” They begrudgingly closed their mouths. “Good. Now drink some water, rest a little bit, and clean up the slurry you undoubtedly got everywhere like wriggles who were never taught what the fuck a bucket was. Then both of you get your asses over here. I’ll cook dinner.”

 

“Aww, KK, you’re so sweet.”

 

“I’ll make you eat on the floor like a barkbeast, Sollux.”

 

“Only if I get to wear a collar.”

 

Equius mumbled something that suspiciously sounded like, “Not one of mine.”

 

Fuck, shit, okay. That was something to tuck away for later. Right then dinner sounded good.

 

“We’ll be there, KK.”

 

“Good. You have an hour and a half.”

 

“Yes, Karkat,” Equius assured, making his name sound a lot like “sir”.

 

“Good. And Sollux, you better help clean up your mess.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I will,” Sollux replied, grabbing his phone. This time he made sure he actually hung up.

**Author's Note:**

> Look out for the sequel where Karkat doms them both.


End file.
